Thank you for taking moment to read my thoughts from tonight.... I know chronic pain isn't fun to think about, but I ask that you take just a moment to hear a few thoughts.
I hope that if you're suffering with chronic pain, that this blog will help you share how you are feeling with those that don't understand. And if you don't have live in pain, that this may open your eyes to a situation you didn't know existed.
Your comments are welcome & encouraged.
Do you know what living with chronic pain is like?
I have to ask - have you ever woken up from the pain of your hip having been dislocated for hours? Has the weight of carrying a magazine or holding a package of markers ever dislocated your wrist? Have you ever been so exhausted by taking a shower that you spent the rest of the day recovering? Have you ever had to stop in the middle of signing your name because your fingers dislocated from the pressure of the pen? Have you ever taken a step only to hear a sickening snap, unsure if something broke this time - or if its just 'out again'? Chronic pain isn't a competition - maybe you live with migraines or have suffered from a serious car accident. Regardless of the cause - living with pain that doesn't go away is more than most people can wrap their minds around.
Chronic Pain and how we're treated by Medical "Professionals"...
I want to talk for a moment about how chronic pain is TREATED and how badly those of us who seek treatment are treated by medical staff. I would like to talk about how you can go into any doctor's office and you have 100% of the staff's attention and concern until you mention ONE thing - that PAIN that just won't go away.
Let me be clear - I have never been diagnosed nor have I been suspected of suffering from mental illness. I was a police officer (back in my health) who had a respectable career which was never marred or disgraced. I've never been arrested, never been in any real trouble of any kind, and I have never abused or misused prescription medications - my experience with "partying" was limited to trying marijuana a handful of times at 20 years old when I worked at the Renaissance Faire. I knew early on that I wanted to work in law enforcement, and I took that seriously. And even though years later, I take powerful opiate medication EVERY day - I have to be clear: I am no more addicted to the pain medication that I am DEPENDANT upon than a diabetic is "addicted" to the insulin they take.
People like myself, living with severe chronic pain KNOW that you emergency room nurses, ER doctors and our own family physicians are so cynical and burnt out that by default you don't believe ANYONE who leads off complaining of pain. We've been talked to like the scum of the earth while writhing with pain worse than you've likely ever experienced. Short of major surgery, days of undiagnosed appendicitis or a compound fracture - it's not likely you've ever had to answer questions while unable to complete your thoughts because of pain.
We see the looks you give us from behind the pharmacy counter - the suspicion, the disgust. We hear your whispers from beyond the curtain. We've heard it from our own family members or friends, not to mention every medical staff member who's asked what medications we take. If, god forbid, someone HAS prescribed any controlled substance, that questions is immediately followed by a disbelieving "but WHY?". AT the first mention of ANY opioid (unless we're also dying of cancer) the suspicion abounds and our treatment immediately disintegrates. We're treated as if we're criminals, addicts, common junkies... and we hear you. We see you. And we'd like to know- what would YOUR solution be to the pain we live with? For whom do you think these medications were created? How exactly would YOU do it better and would you be willing to take our pain for 30, 90, 365 days in order to prove how you could handle it with just ice packs and ibuprophen?
My Pain Management.
Yes. I do take morphine. Every day - for five years, once a month, I drag myself out of the house regardless of how I feel to sit through an appointment that can last up to five hours. I'm subjected to a urine test monthly - to make sure I'm taking the prescribed medication and not selling it. They also make sure I'm not taking anything they haven't prescribed. And I have to PAY for the indignity of not being trusted - did you know that?
Sure; The bottle says every 12 hours, but I'm human... occasionally I'm lucky enough to sleep too long, or I get mentally busy and I forget- and then I get to feel not only the pain. The pain that comes rolling in, in waves, but I also get to feel that distinctive sickness...I get to experience the SUDDEN, SHARP and repeated painful yawning (there goes my jaw, out again).... the ice cold sweat stinging my eyes, the nausea, the dizziness, and quickly my mind can't focus (even on the pain). My palms sweat... and that's just the beginning. But thank god I have another pill to take- and in fifteen to thirty minutes both the WORST of the pain and that awful illness will fade... that's what I remind myself each time I'm overdue for a dose. At least I have the option to take a pill and it will fade.
But without that monthly appointment, and without that pill, I'm reminded, in excruciating detail- of every movement I've made in the last ten days. I'm reminded of just how many fingers, which wrist, knee and how many ribs I've dislocated and subluxated and, of course, which hip has spent more time *out* of its socket than where it belongs. Don't get me wrong - I'll still feel all of that once the pill kicks in, just a little less clearly (thankfully). It never actually goes away.
We aren't all so "lucky".
For hundreds of thousands of others like myself - those who have yet to be diagnosed, those who have yet to be believed, those who have yet to find a doctor willing to prescribe them any kind of long term or extended, slow-release or powerful enough pain medication... for them the relief never comes. They get to feel ALL of it, ALL of the time.
Thousands of people living with the same pain that I face , will make a heartbreaking and permanent choice - often the only choice they feel they have left: many of them end their lives. I even, sadly, can understand why they make that choice.
These people aren't dying from losing the fight with depression. They aren't overdosing because they lost the handle on an addiction. Please, take my word for it- living with this constant chronic 10/10 pain, in which EVERY movement you make, every breath you take, is met with excruciating pain... there are only two choices- PROPER pain management or death. There is no in between- no one is designed to live in devastating pain. And when you have NO options for controlling the pain - people resort to things you never think they would. Honest, law-abiding people will inject themselves with sketchy heroin just to get a brief break from the pain - and sometimes those people overdose and die, and then their family learns that they overdosed, and people are blaming this horrible situation on the DRUGS and not the REAL PROBLEM: Chronic pain that is being IGNORED by the entire medical industry!
I know that despite the Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, I am so very lucky. I am EXTREMELY fortunate to live in a place where I have help watching my son, where I'm covered by insurance that pays for most of my medical care and medications. I know how lucky I am to have an incredible husband who fought for me and advocated for me and who attended SO MANY awful hospital stays and doctors appointments with me until we found the right team of doctors. But even with a rheumatologist, a gi, an endocrinologist, an orthopedist, an allergist, a dermatologist, a uro-gynocologist, and an oral surgeon who specializes in EDS (and pulled ALL my disintegrating teeth thanks to the EDS) plus a fantastic general practice doctor... it was only ONE specialist, after three years who was willing to write scripts that would eventually get me out of bed and keep me out of the constant rotation of hospitals - by prescribing the powerful long acting opiate pain medication that I've taken every day for five years. But I can't tell you what I might have chosen if I hadn't finally gotten relief through LEGAL and WELL REGULATED medication - it could have been heroin - it could have been suicide.
I remember, each time I'm late taking a dose, each time my pain is still a 10 and I can't take anything more medication for hours for the breakthrough pain... I try to focus on the hundreds of thousands of people who DON'T have that one amazing doctor, or that incredible husband to advocate when they were too weak or too depressed and in too much pain to make just one more phone call, or to go to just one more appointment - Many people can't stomach one more visit with a doctor where they can expect to be treated like a junkie looking for a fix rather than a patient in PAIN. I know how lucky I am.
What do you do when you can't get anyone to help?
People like myself live with pain that makes you break out in a cold sweat, the kind of pain that you can not experience without squeezing your eyes (filled with tears) closed and focusing on your next breathe, a pain that is SO searing, so hot, so electrifying that you can't sleep for days at a time...giving rise to the term "painsomnia"... and there are *millions* of us living with this unending pain, and the *LUCKY* ones have access to medication that only *sometimes* helps.
The pain NEVER fully goes away - even when we're laughing, or eating our favorite food or celebrating our birthday or a promotion or doing something unusually active (that we'll no doubt pay for later)... the pain is still, EASILY, the number one thing on our mind, no matter how hard we try to focus on whatever BETTER might be going on.
And on our bad days? If you don't live with one of us, you've likely never seen or heard from us during the bad days. When we're sick or sad or heartbroken or swimming in one disaster after another...our pain just AMPLIFIES anything bad and makes it THAT. MUCH. WORSE. It's not a mystery why people with chronic pain are ending their lives in STAGGERING numbers, or why people are turning to street drugs when their pleas for relief from the pain have been ignored for months or years on end.
Having a "good day" can be the worst thing -because we tend to over-do it. We want to cram in everything we haven't been able to do in the last few weeks, or months, because hell, we never know when -or if- we'll ever get another "good day". And worse than overdoing it, and paying by needing days of recovery for a simple day of running errands - is the immediate judgement when we're seen out and about - god forbid we are laughing or smiling - because then it's assumed we are ALWAYS fine and that the other 99.9% of our life is a great big lie. How do you think that feels - to be told that we aren't EVER allowed to look or act well, because while sure, our friends and family want us to participate in our own lives... as soon as we do, it's assumed that we should ALWAYS be able to. It's a horrible, horrible Catch-22.
In reality, chronic pain and chronic illness doesn't conveniently disappear when the weather is nice, when we're starving and need to get groceries, on our wedding day or when the baby cries and the dog needs to go out... it doesn't turn off during that one day we have off from work this week, during the vacation we planned months in advance, or on the afternoon our spouse is both off from work AND "in the mood"... it doesn't give us the evening off on the evening of the concert you got tickets to AND found a babysitter for. It's ALWAYS there. And PATIENTS with chronic pain and chronic illness don't go away just because the hospital discharges them, the ER sends them out the door, or their doctor's office says "sorry, we can't or won't prescribe you medication that can help you."
Severe chronic pain is all-encompassing & it doesn't give you a break, ESPECIALLY not when you need a break the most. As a matter of fact, those are the times when the pain is at it's worst.
And we aren't supposed to talk about it either.
We try not to talk about it for fear of being a constant bummer - we are often downright in FEAR of the moment a doctor asks for a number to describe our pain. Do we downplay it so they don't think we're exaggerating? Do we tell the truth and risk that they assume we're hypochondriacs or just jonesing for a fix? They don't see that we turn down attending FAR more fun events than we attend or have missed so much work that our job is in danger and when we were absent and we say "I had a bad day" or "I wasn't feeling well" it WASN'T just like last week when you had the sniffles and stayed home from the office with a good book and a hot tea. When we are brave enough to tell a doctor that our pain is a 10 - it has probably BEEN a 10 for a very long time. And sadly - we're probably EXPECTING an eye-roll in response.
If you work in the medical profession I have ONE request... (PLEASE understand - I know that you work in a VERY demanding and difficult line of work. I do realize how much pressure is on you NOT to treat our pain.)
But PLEASE... Please take a moment with each and every patient to remember, for a moment, that not everyone who tells you they are in pain is just looking to get high.
1) Speaking for all of us in constant pain - I beg of you: PLEASE don't immediately judge us. Please don't assume that because we are crying too much, or not enough - because we are preoccupied on our phone or curled into a ball - please know that we all cope differently and just because we aren't sobbing and begging, it doesn't mean that we don't want to.
Please don't leap to the conclusion that no one is *really* in pain. For many of us, it took 200% of our effort just to drag clothes onto our bodies and to get to this appointment or into your ER in the first place. At least listen to us. Please talk to our close family members, take a complete medical history, really LOOK at the big picture. Please don't just tune out the moment that you hear that we're in pain.
And for those of you who don't work in the medical profession : perhaps you have a friend or family member suffering. Please try to remember that we didn't ask for this pain. We don't deserve to be treated like addicts, like people who make poor choices or who take "drugs" for fun. If we're lucky enough to HAVE access to pain medication, and we're taking it responsibly - please don't judge us. And if you're concerned, TALK to us, not about us.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to put my wrist back in and tape it there before the swelling gets any worse- typing this really did a number on me. I'm about nine hours from my next dose, so I suppose I won't be sleeping again tonight... the chest pains from my out of place ribs feel very much like a heart attack... but I'm going to try some meditation and to lie in the dark and hope I can will away the throbbing that started from dislocating my left wrist that happened from holding my cell phone while I tapped this blog post out on it.
I hope you'll rest well tonight. Please keep those who can't rest because of chronic pain in your thoughts.
We really DON'T want your sympathy. We just want to be treated with respect and understanding.
Why does it matter what we call it? Isn't "needing" pain medication the same thing no matter what?
A blogger writes about their concerns regarding medications that their doctor prescribed...
A husband worries that his wife is taking too many prescription pills...
A sober recovering addict gets injured and is concerned that treatment could affect his sobriety...
A friend is afraid of taking pain medication after surgery...
Dependence... or addiction?
These two terms, often used interchangably by everyone and anyone, are EXTREMELY different.
They mean two incredibly different things- and yet from doctors to patients, concerned loved ones to clueless (but often well-meaning) friends, so often I see these words used interchangeably, as if they are synonymous. The people who say these things often don't mean anyone harm, but that's exactly what they are doing - they are causing harm to anyone who suffers with addition, and those who live with dependence.
Using the wrong word isn't harmless at all and this blog is REALLY important to anyone who falls into either of the above categories.
I'll explain why the proper use of each of these words, even in CASUAL conversation, *SHOULD BE* crucially important to all of us* . This doesn't just apply to those of us living with (or loving someone) living with chronic pain (and not just Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, ANY pain.) I hope you'll take a moment to read on, and find out why.
So why does it matter which word we use, and how could the wrong words harm anyone?
The short answer, is that using the wrong word in front of the wrong person can PERMANENTLY impact your future health care, including the possibility of leaving you facing a lifetime in untreated pain.
It is literally THAT important.
If you say the words "I'm concerned about addiction" to a doctor who is considering prescribing you pain medication of any kind - there is a GREAT chance that they are IMMEDIATELY going to re-consider, and put you on the absolute minimum - or no medication at all, because doctors are TERRIFIED about losing their licenses and facing law suits over "causing" drug addiction.
The media is pushing an agenda that DOCTORS are to blame for the current opiate / heroin addiction crisis and the resulting millions of deaths from overdose - so if you want to fast-track yourself into a lifetime of non-treatment, bring up the "A-word" early on with any doctor. Let me explain exactly what I mean:
Addiction kills people. Addiction treatment is a billion-dollar industry, law suits against medical professionals, who wrongfully or not, are being blamed for addiction - it's a terrifying time to be a doctor, especially in the current society where no one wants to take responsibility for their own poor choices in life. Hell - if a woman can spill hot coffee on herself and win a HUGE lawsuit over it - why not choose to binge on drugs and party-hard, and then sue the doctor who thought he was treating you for "back pain"? Right? The lititigeous society we live in, and the need to place blame on anyone but oneself, has lead to a dangerous, DANGEROUS trend in pain-management - doctors are terrified to put anyone on any medication they COULD abuse, and people with real pain are being hung out to dry, and offered no relief at all because doctors are left thinking "Well, at least they can't sue me for becoming addicted to pain killers if I refuse to prescribe them!"
Millions of people die as a result of addiction every year. Dependence, on the other hand, has never killed anyone. Overdose- yes - but dependence itself is not in any way dangerous.
"DEPENDENCE" is not a dirty word. Diabetics are dependent on insulin, and infants are dependent on their caregivers. In terms of medication - dependence is the PHYSICAL reaction that's EXPECTED when a person is put on medication long-term - it's the body's adjustment to having that medication in your system on a regular basis. Dependence is in no way indicative of any kind of irresponsibility on the part of a patient - it's an EXPECTED part of treatment. When the human body adjusts to the prescience of medication, it's normal for the body to learn to expect that medication. It's the reason why MANY medications require that you be slowly weaned rather than stopping suddenly - it has ZERO to do with misuse or abuse, it's simply the fact that your body has come to expect the presence of a chemical and in the absence of that chemical, the body can have a range of reactions. The most common reaction to the LACK of a medication is known as withdrawal.
It's usually opiates or benzodiazepines, the two medications you hear people discussing when the word DEPENDENCE or ADDICTION comes up. On any long term course of treatment with MOST medications that treat pain, mental illness and many other conditions - becoming dependent on your medication simply means your body adjusts to the presence of the medication, that in time you may need a higher dose for the same affect, and that its likely you'll experience withdrawal symptoms if you suddenly top taking the medication. Dependence is a reason it's CRUCIAL to always be up front, honest and straightforward with your physicians. You need to always discuss the proper way to start, to titer up or down, or to stop any medication that has the ability for dependence.
Withdraw symptoms from pain medications are no joke and can kill you if done wrong... it's no joke. BUT - and this is perhaps the most important point in this whole post - just because a person is suffering from withdrawal symptoms, does NOT mean that they are an addict or that a person has done ANYTHING wrong. It simply means that their body is used to taking a certain medication and it's no longer in their system.
NOTHING about dependence is unexpected, upsetting, or indicative of a drug problem in any way. Diabetics become dependent on insulin. Those with congestive heart failure become dependent on heart medications. No one would EVER roll their eyes and say with disdain "Are you sure you want to start taking insulin? My aunt was diabetic and became dependent on insulin!" -that would be absurd. Of course their body NEEDS the medication, its treating a legitimate illness!
Dependence to antidepressants or pain medications is IN NO WAY negative or shameful- if you're taking it as prescribed, and you're legitimately treating depression or severe pain - you're going to develop dependence.
Addiction, on the other hand, is a psychological issue in which medication is taken for recreation - to get high. Yes, a person can start off treating a legitimate condition... like post-par-tum depression or temporary pain, and yet continue taking the medication long after its needed. That isn't dependence... it's ADDICTION.
When a person misuses or abuses street drugs, over the counter or prescription medication (be it legally prescribed to them or not)- for ANY reason other than why it was prescribed... that's addiction. Taking too much of a medication, taking medication too often, or taking it in a way OTHER than how it was prescribed (like crushing and snorting medication that you're supposed to swallow whole... that's addictive behavior.
Any time a person misuses or abuses a medication or drug, they are displaying symptoms of ADDICTION.
☆☆ NOT DEPENDENCE ☆☆
If you or someone you know is displaying addictive behavior, the person needs to seek both physical and psychological treatment (by professionals) to get clean and to determine WHY they have developed unhealthy & addictive behaviors.
Coming from my career in law enforcement where I've seen a LOT of people misusing and abusing both street drugs and prescription medications, I can tell you with complete honesty... addiction doesn't "just happen" because a person broke their arm and was put on percocet for ten days. Never do you hear a person in a battle with addiction say "My life was going along just perfectly, then I was put on medication and next thing you know, I'm shooting up heroin in an alley."
The reasons behind addiction are COMPLEX, complicated and not the point of this post. The reality is that no matter how you feel about addiction, it STARTS with a choice to put a substance in your body that you didn't NEED - it starts with a CHOICE. Addiction may be a disease, but unlike pancreatitis, hypothyroidism or cancer, addiction begins with a person CHOOSING to put a substance in their body for a purpose other than a medical need.
The DISEASE of addiction is what happens when the cycle of dependence and addiction intertwine and you're left with a person who needs more and more of a drug to get high, and who ends up chasing that high they once enjoyed. As the body becomes more and more used to a substance, it can be difficult or even impossible for a person to get the euphoric high they once got - they need more and more of the drug, and often times it will come to a point where they are doing the drug just to avoid withdrawal symptoms.
Addiction STARTS with a choice, and just as a person makes the CHOICE to use a drug for purposes other than they're intended, an addict can only be treated if they CHOOSE to do so. Addicts can't be forced, guilted, shamed or bullied into sobriety - they have to choose sobriety to have ANY chance in hell of success. If you're in this situation AND dealing with chronic illness, I truly feel for you, I really do - some former drug abusers have, with therapy and supervision, been able to later handle responsible treatment with medication. Others can never take a single dose of their former drug of choice without falling right back into the cycle of addiction.
It's CRUCIAL to understand that a person can be dependent AND addicted, but that dependence doesn't require any treatment. Unless you wish to stop or change medications, for example, because your treatment is no longer effective, or perhaps because you're considering pregnancy. You would want treatment to avoid severe withdrawal symptoms, but not the same kind of treatment that an addict would require. Because there was never any MISUSE of the medication, the treatment wouldn't require the psychological component. This is why using the right terms when we talk about dependence and addiction is SO IMPORTANT.
If a newly pregnant mother wants to change pain treatments to something less dangerous during her pregnancy, she will likely need treatment to avoid the dangers of withdrawal... but she doesn't need addiction counseling. And if she USES the word "addiction" rather than "dependence", she could face Child Services swooping in to take her newborn baby away. Does that make the difference more clear - how CRUCIAL it is to use the right word?
Its *EPICLY CRUCIAL* that we use the right terms any time this topic is discussed. Doctors use addiction as an excuse not to treat legitimate patients in pain. In reality, repeated studies have proven that only an INCREDIBLY TINY number of patients who are living with real pain with ever face addiction to medications they are using to control that pain. Research has suggested that of those who have been diagnosed with both chronic pain and addiction... the majority of those people suffered from addiction or mental illness issues BEFORE they were suffering from chronic pain. This makes it even more clear: If you are an otherwise mentally healthy person, the chances of becoming addicted to medication that you're using (under close supervision from your doctor) - your risk of ADDICTION is VERY VERY low -unless you've battled an addiction in the past.
This is GREAT news for many people who are suffering but are TERRIFIED to try stronger medications. Often, somewhere along the line, they've been traumatized by someone who used the WRONG WORD. They then came to wrongly believe that treatment with opiates is going to CAUSE an addiction. That's not how it happens, folks, 999 times out of 1000. In reality, most chronic pain patients can't comprehend addiction because we're just trying to control some of our pain to get through the day. 'Getting high' isn't enjoyable or even possible for the majority of patients who are treating real pain.
It comes down to being honest with yourself. Is your pain truly what you describe to your doctor, or do you embellish and exaggerate your symptoms? Do you make things sound worse than they are because you are in FEAR of pain, or are your describing your symptoms accurately? Have you requested certain medications because you prefer how they make you feel rather than how they treat a symptom? Have you ever told a doctor that you're allergic to something, in order to get a prescription for a different type of medication? Those are common signs of manipulation and addiction. Doctors look for these red flags because they are so commonly used by addicts.
When patients try to lessen the social impacts of addiction by using the wrong terminology (saying "I became dependent on it", rather than "I developed an addiction."- it leaves many people assuming that anyone who takes pain medication long term is truly an addict. It leads to belief that anyone who takes these medications is misusing the medication, exaggerating their symptoms, exaggerating their pain, or taking these unnecessary and powerful drugs just "for fun".
We patients, as a whole, need to be sure that we discuss and address these things in honest terms. If you have a psychological dependence - you find yourself taking more and more, not because the medication is no longer working, or not at your doctors instruction- but because you like the warm-and-fuzzy feeling opiates give some people, then we need to call a spade a spade. It doesn't mean anything less of your illness, it doesn't diminish your disease or even your pain, HELL, if anything, we should ALL have much MORE sympathy for an ill person with addiction because their inability to trust themselves with taking medication responsibly means that they likely to successfully treat their illness.
As it is, doctors don't want to treat chronic and invisible illness pain. They risk investigation by the DEA, loss of license and arrest if they over prescribe or if a patient in their care later blames the doctor for their addiction... and sadly... MANY ADDICTS DO. After all, at its root, addiction starts with dishonesty. At its core, addiction is often dishonesty to one's self. "I really do need this," the addict tells himself, "My pain really IS that bad." Addiction starts with lies to oneself and progresses to lying to everyone. And because it starts with dishonesty, MANY medical professionals have come to believe we are ALL faking the severity or existence of our pain to get "good drugs". You show me one chronic pain patient who's never been treated like an addict, and I'll bet he's riding a unicorn, because we have ALL been there. Women and young people *especially*.
When someone with our condition actually behaves dishonestly due to mental illness, PTSD, anxiety, depression...and lies, self medicates, and abuses prescription drugs that others NEED to treat our pain, it hurts all of us. More than anything, it means that most doctors will refuse to treat that person with controlled prescriptin medications going forward. When someone overdoses on sleeping pills, it doesn't matter how severe their insomnia is, there's a good chance no doctor will ever want the liability of prescribing for them again.
It's a complex problem and I soberly and sincerely feel REALLY bad for anyone suffering with the same pain I live with. For someone who can't trust themselves to take medication that will control their pain... it's a total nightmare of a problem. There are medications that produce a "high", but they are generally far less effective at controlling severe pain. Some treatments exist, like suboxone, that is often used for addiction treatment - these can help some people's pain without allowing them to feel the euphoric the high, and if you've got pain and addiction, I genuinely hope that that works for you, and that you'll get counseling and treatment going forward for the underlying conditions that caused you to abuse your prescription medication in the past.
Recovery is a forever thing, and I have several sober friends who have been sober a very long time (decades), and my only suggestion (Having worked in law enforcement and seen a LOT of addiction first hand) is PLEASE, Please seek SCIENCE-BASED treatments as opposed to purely theological.
You can pray yourself silly, if that floats your boat, but science based treatments have proven infinately more effective than "higher power" based programs like N.A. and A.A. which have higher than 98% failure and relapse rates. There are several fantastic studies online that explain how much MORE effective science based treatments are than 12-step or any faith based programs... and doing the first DOESN'T proclude you from ALSO doing the latter, if faith-based programs interest you.
Unfortunately though, the faith based programs OFTEN suggest they are the ONLY way, which LEGITIMATE, highly researched scientific studies have proven are not true. \
Whatever it takes, I hope if you're suffering with addiction, that you get and stay clean, and that you also get treatment for your pain.
And I genuinely hope that you'll understand what I'm trying to convey- that I'm not trying to be rude or mean in any way... I just *really* want people to understand the CRUCIAL reason we all need to accurately use the terms "dependence" and "addiction" & the MASSIVE difference between the two.
It absolutely DOES matter.
Life at 34, as a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend... with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, nothing is easy..but it *IS* worth it.